It was not a sleepless night I spent the day after my interview for the Indian Express. But the three times I woke up on that hard hotel bed, I murmured to myself…’Indian Express, Ahmedabad’. That’s how much I wanted this job. That’s how much I wanted to be here, of all papers, of all bureaus. Ahmedabad kicked off my career. All this city meant to me before I came here was the ‘suspended-in-the-air-tap’ fountain I had seen in a photograph in India Today years ago. And of course, it also meant I wouldn’t have to depend on my parents for my monthly (ahem) extravagances.
And then I came here. To work, finally. Done with studying for a bit. Time to do something I loved doing. Letting my curiosity loose. Sniffing out stories by the wayside, in anesthetized hospital corridors, in flooded villages and barren ones.
Stuck on my Scooty in the middle of a pothole in knee-deep rainwater, propping my laptop on the footpath so it doesn’t get wetter than it already had, hoping desperately there wouldn’t be any more onlookers than there already were, dragging my Scooty to a less-flooded spot on the road, and bruising my leg hoping to kick it start in time for the next apointment – oh, I loved every minute of my job as a reporter. It was the fulfillment of a dream to work the way I did – zooming through the city all day, writing stories in the evenings, and crashing as soon as I hit the bed. This is what I had wanted, what I enjoyed best.
And now I am going to leave my job, my daily dose of adrenaline. I don’t have to, it’s my choice. Because making a home has always been a dream too, as much as doing a kick-ass job was. And now is the time I want to make a home.
Of course, I will take another job when I shift to Bangalore but I know it will not be the same. It can’t be. Nothing can match the independence I have now, even the independence to not work so much if I don’t feel like it.
I just hope I can come back to it someday soon…
