Sata-pata marriages: Just not a bride idea
Pulkit Vasudha
Rapar (Kutch), September 9 Hazraben Khamisa Bhatti, of Taga village in Kutch, knew Roshan, just a year younger to her 22-year-old son, Faiz, would make for a perfect daughter-in-law. There was a small hitch, though. Faiz’s family did not have the amount of money that Roshan’s family demanded as “royalty” in exchange of their daughter.
Hazraben only had to take recourse to the sata-pata (exchange marriage) custom prevalent in Kutch to make the marriage happen — she married her daughter, Subhana, 20, to Roshan’s unmarried uncle Doudbhai, 35.
“I knew it was a bad deal for my daughter, but I had to go ahead for the sake of my son,” says Hazraben. Now, Subhana is not only trapped in a compromising marriage, but is also a victim of domestic violence. Faiz and Roshan’s marriage, too, is in jeopardy owing to the escalating tension in Subhana’s marriage.
Sata-pata is an exchange system in which a girl from one family is married to the boy from another family which, in turn, gives a daughter in marriage to the first family. Earlier, it was prevalent mainly among the Rabari communities. Over the past five to 10 years, however, the custom has also become increasingly common among Ahirs, Kolis, Patels, Rajputs, Darbars and Muslims. It is more widespread in districts with lower child sex ratios such as Mehsana, Saurashtra, Kutch, Kheda, Patan and Surat.
A woman and a man of each family are also exchanged in marriage to save wedding expenses and also ensure that the man does not remain without a wife. In the process, many women find themselves in incompatible unions.
“An 80-year-old man painted his hair and his moustache when he came to marry a 17-year-old girl of my village,” says Sugraben Haji, of Davri village. “In my own family, there is pressure to give my daughter to a 40-year-old handicapped man, but I will not ruin my daughter’s life.”
Differences between one of the couples can break both families. “At least five girls commit suicide in my village every year because of the breaking up of sata-pata marriages,” says Meena Barwad, of Dhanithar village, who gave away seven daughters in this manner.
If a man does not find a girl in his family for the barter, he can marry only when he can afford the royalty. Since the royalty runs into lakhs of rupees, many men stay unmarried till they are over 40 or 50 years old, and then find themselves young brides in exchange for a girl from his own family.
“The sata-pata custom has ruined not just the lives of innumerable girls but also their families,” says Dhirubhai R Rajput, of Bhimasar village in Kutch. Dhirubhai married Jaya and, in turn, got his sister Bhavna married to Jaya’s brother. Jaya found a loving husband, but Bhavna was not so lucky. .
“My in-laws and husband wanted Jaya to break her marriage with Dhirubhai and marry someone else in return for a good royalty. They began torturing me to bring Jaya back so that she could be sold off for a good price. Dhirubhai and Jaya saw through the plan and took me in when I ran away from my marital home.”
Source: Indian Express